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It is hard to believe that we have now entered our fifth year producing ‘Looking For Me Friend: The Music of Victoria Wood’ and in spite of a couple of those years meaning we were weathering the storm more than getting out on the road, I am pleased to report that we have been touring the UK with our musical tribute to the late, great funny-woman since September 2022.

At the start of this project back in November 2019, when pianist Michael Roulston and I got into a room with our director Sarah-Louise Young, a back-catalog of around 200 songs, and many Post-It notes, I made a pledge to donate a part of our profits to The Victoria Wood Foundation, should we ever get to a place where a profit was made.

Well, the storm has indeed been weathered and I’m glad to report that in November 2023, I was able to send a modest gift in the shape of a bank cheque to the Foundation, who are a committee of Victoria’s family, friends and work colleagues who continue her charitable work under that banner.

It is an honour to perform the songs of a genius that was so beloved, and I feel a great sense of pride at the opportunity I have been afforded to meet some of Victoria’s primary school-chums and work-mates through touring this show. It’s a constant joy to encounter fellow ‘Woodies’ from across the country, and we are grateful to all of them for their acceptance, especially those who purchase our ‘Looking For Me Friend’ merchandise, profits from which are a large part of the donation we were able to make to the Victoria Wood Foundation.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about merchandise. Specifically, the swag that I have been developing to support my stage show, ‘Looking For Me Friend’. As some of you may know, ‘Looking For Me Friend’ is a musical homage to the late, great Victoria Wood – a stand-up comedienne, writer, musician and much more – who we lost back in 2016 to cancer. We also lost Alan Rickman, Prince and David Bowie in that same year, but for me the loss of Vic was by far the most significant.

Victoria Wood

I grew up watching Vic with my mum and sister, and since losing my mother (also to cancer) in February last year, the show has taken on greater meaning for me than I ever imagined. After decades of watching my plays and being confronted with various ‘Mother figures’ in my work – who may or may not have had anything in common with her -, this show celebrated us in a way I have never shared before. Of course, the irony is that this is the show Mum will never see.

A much younger me, David Bowie and my Mama

The project for my stage show began in November 2019, when myself and my director, Sarah-Louise Young and musical director, Michael Roulston – both also old friends of mine who share a love of Vic – first got in a room together, along with The Cabaret Cat, naturally. Over two years later, the coronavirus pandemic means that we have still only been able to perform the piece a dozen times, and always the 1-hour ‘festival-style’ version. And we’re luckier than some in theatreland right now!

The Cabaret Cat in rehearsals

So, with over twelve grand of my own money invested in the project to-date, I turned my attention to developing a brand of merch that would support the show and celebrate Victoria in equal measure. Back at the end of 2019, when deep in the R&D process of making the show, I was revisiting Victoria’s work in all its forms – from sketches to plays, songs to stand-up, and even full musicals and documentaries. Whilst trawling through all this material I began to make a list of every word or phrase – no matter where it came from – that Victoria used in her published work three times or more. In doing so, I began to build a kind of ‘Victionary’; a lexicon – if you will – of Victoria’s very own. A distillation of the language, catchphrases and non-secateurs that millions of us have grown to love and use in everyday life over the years.

Indeed, part of the content of my stage show explores how Victoria’s work in the 80s & 90s became a modern Polari for young gay people like myself and Michael, literally seeking out their ‘friends’ from the potential threats one was met with during commonplace social encounters back then. What I mean to say is, if you heard someone quote Vic, it was a pretty sure bet they’d ‘get’ you. Even if they weren’t gay. And that meant a lot back in the eighties if you were ‘different’.

Michael Roulston and I backstage at the first ever show

So, after hours and hours of research, I had my ‘Victionary’, and my initial plan was to create a design – kind of like those word bubbles that Facebook used throw up to see what you talked about most? – containing nothing but those pure words and phrases that got three or more nods. Not being known for my design skills, but feeling very clear on what I wanted to create, I sought out a collaborator – and who better than a chap I had recently found on TikTok, lip-synching to Vic’s sketches of ‘Kitty’ as originally portrayed by the fabulous Patricia Routledge!? As well as being a dab hand at this, Mr. Luke Benjamin just happens to be a graphic designer by trade, and was more than willing to get involved in my barmy project!

Me with Graphic Designer Luke Benjamin

Whilst we soon got to grips with the look and style of the thing, it became clear to me during the first couple of design drafts that there were some very famous quotes of Victoria’s which, though not used three times or more, were so iconic that we just could not leave them out. So, in went ‘Red Cabbage, How Much?’, ‘What Was It Muesli’ and ‘Nasty Blouse’ to name but three. Next, we realised that there are a huge amount of Wood fans who’s entry level to her work was the sitcom ‘dinnerladies’, and anything before that might be lost on them. So, we chucked in some mentions of toast and diving boards (don’t ask!) and rejigged things all over again.

Lots of tea, giggling and nine versions of the design later, and with a lot of feedback from both old friends and new ones made online in the various Facebook groups that celebrate Victoria, we finally came up with our ultimate design!

‘Ta-Da!’ as Petula Gordon might say.

So far, so good, but now I had to choose the initial product the design would feature on. I knew I wanted something fairly kitsch and but also mundane, cos frankly that’s what Vic has always focused on – ‘I see life from the chip pan level’ she once said in an interview. So, what better product than a tea towel that was light, easy to store and could be posted through a letterbox! Little did I know then, that the great woman herself had sanctioned tea towels as her preferred gift of choice in an article from twenty years earlier!

After choosing my product, I needed to find a supplier that could deliver 500 units to me in time for Christmas 2021 and it was already September! Well, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that a number of the suppliers which I dutifully researched and short-listed, were not able to deliver with such a short lead time because of – altogether now! – Brexit. Of course. Sigh.

Nevertheless, I did finally find someone who could help and soon 500 custard yellow and shocking pink tea towels were winging their way to me from a factory in Hertfordshire, and the orders were lining up. The public response was fast and loud, and we sold out the initial run in less than three weeks. A wonderful problem to have, but now the chase was on to find another supplier to – hopefully – get us some more in time for Crimbo! In late November, our prayers came good and Santa was delighted to be told he’d got all the Vic-fans covered for the festive period, as another 300 stock arrived.

Since the tea towel went on-sale, I have received the most tremendous response – not least from people who actually worked with Victoria. The celebrated choreographer Stephen Mear; Ria Jones, who toured the UK as Mrs Overall in the musical of Acorn Antiques; toast-loving Sue Devaney, from the other side of the ‘dinnerladies’ counter, and Rachel Gleaves who has not one but two iconic cameos in that same show – all of them have praised and even bought our humble little design in its inaugural tea towel form.

It’s been so wonderful to connect with other Vic fans, and to help promote my stage show whilst simultaneously re-filling the coffers of the project. My mailing list has increased by 25% just from merch customers wanting to hear about the next product we will come up with – the answer, by the way, is that we’ll be dropping around 25 new products on a print-on-demand basis via Printful in a matter of weeks!

And then, Grace Dent happened…

Now, food critic and journalist Grace Dent has not actually seen my show – just like the majority of people who have bought the tea towel – but a friend of hers had and bought her one as a gift. Imagine my surprise when she chose to drape it over her knees during a photoshoot for The Guardian’s ‘Feast’ magazine back in November! Sadly, the online version of the publication shows a different image, but that didn’t stop Dent’s kind gesture from setting my newly opened Etsy store on fire with orders. I know a few Etsy sellers, and they all speak of how long it take to get ones store going, so I’m taking it as a big win that we ended the year with 18 orders, 2 five-star reviews and 19 followers to the account. Thanks, Grace!

Finally, I’d like to give a big shout-out to my old pal Kath and her partner Andrew, who have kindly offered to trial my tea towels in their stunning gift shop, ‘Treehouse’ in Crouch End, North London. As well as being my old stomping ground during drama school, Victoria lived fairly locally to Crouch End herself and even shopped in ‘Treehouse’, meeting and chatting to Kath along the way.

Kath & Andrew of ‘Treehouse’

Hey look, I know we are only talking about a tea towel here, but after the challenges of the past few years – especially for those of us in the arts, and particularly live entertainment – I’m taking all this as a win and celebrating it hard.

Hopefully, by April we shall have Tote Bags and Greetings Cards in stock to take to gigs alongside the tea towel, and Printful will do the rest on-demand via my on-line store, thecabaretgeek.com/shop. Until then, please pray for the UK theatre scene, and do what you can to support independent creatives; and that doesn’t always mean money. Sharing or liking a social media post can make an enormous difference. Helping build someone’s mailing list will too.

Thanks for reading, and double thanks if you’ve seen the show or bought the tea towel; here’s to a brighter year ahead for us all. Maybe you know someone who’s kitchen needs a splash of pink and yellow to help that along..?

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I have been thinking a lot lately about the British public’s relationship to freelancers and specifically (because it’s me) to self-employed creatives. As lockdown eases and we wait patiently for the government to announce whether they will indeed open up the next stage of the roadmap on May 17th, contact with old acquaintances are beginning to increase, and alongside it comes the cringeworthy conversations and patronising lip-service to the arts and creatives:

‘The arts are so important to our souls’

‘We must be respectful of the fact that you cannot do your little shows yet’

‘Obviously the arts aren’t essential but they are a nice bonus’

Here’s the thing, chaps: I’m as guilty as the next man of posting memes like ‘The earth without art is just “eh?”’, but to stop at that is really missing the point in a big way. How big? How is £10.47billion? That big enough for you? Because that’s how much money the arts and culture contributed to the UK economy in 2019. In that same year the Premier League brought in £7.6billion. Yes, that’s right. WE BEAT FOOTBALL. And yet we have all watched recently as Boris drops literally everything to take meetings and make public statements about the proposed (now defunct) Super League and its potential damage to ‘The Beautiful Game’, whilst a global pandemic rages on and our theatres, music venues, comedy and cabaret clubs and more all stay closed on his say-so. Dominic Cummings disgraceful alleged comments on the arts early on during the coronavirus crisis (‘Let the f***ing ballet dancers get to the back of the f***ing line’) continue to go unchecked, and the pathetically inconsequential Oliver Dowden (in charge of both culture and sport – why are they lumped together??) limps along saying little and doing less.

Where are our champions?

Who will fight for the arts?

It is unfortunate that two of the biggest producers of theatre in the UK’s history are falling short of the mark. Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber rather unhelpfully quit his peerage in 2017, and seems more focussed on his own legacy as a theatre impresario with the – albeit extremely impressive – renovation of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, whilst Sir Cameron MacIntosh has been all but silent publicly for the past fourteen months, except to defend his decision to halve the orchestra of Phantom of the Opera when it returns to the West End (Add to that the amount of mannequins filling the stage of that production in lieu of real actors, and it may as well be a one-man show.)

Perhaps Johnson’s recent support for British football is more about crowd-control and the very real threat of increased domestic violence, than a fair weighing up of the viability of that sector. Remember when all actors, dancers and singers were called ‘unviable’ by our own government? That was a nice day, wasn’t it? Do we have to riot in order to be treated with equity (Don’t get me started on that tooth-less institution)? Must we storm Drury Lane and rip out Webber’s newly uncovered cantilevered staircases to get a response from the powers that be?

A recent article in The Guardian reports that figures released last month by the Office for National Statistics show job vacancies in the arts and entertainment, in the period January to March 2021, were down 79% on the equivalent period in 2020. We are ‘by far the worst hit part of the economy, well ahead of even hospitality at 70%, and soaring above the average across all industries of 23%.’

Where will this leave us a year from now? How many drama schools will go to the wall? Think of the dance studios and rehearsal rooms all empty and under threat of conversion into luxury flats along with the music and entertainment venues that we have already lost.

If I haven’t made my point clearly enough yet, let’s finish by taking a look at my own current work and its effect on other freelance creatives. Since late 2019, I have been working on the creation of a stage show entitled LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND, which celebrates the musical genius of the late, great Victoria Wood. In spite of all that has happened in the past year or so, I am committed to this show and its future – £8K worth of commitment to date, actually -, in spite of the fact that the opportunity to share it in any meaningful way – fiscally speaking – will continue to elude me until later next year, thanks to the decisions taken by our government. Nevertheless, my work on its development does not stop, and neither do the many collaborations which are involved.

You can’t promote a show without great images, and the photographer Steve Ullathorne has taken some absolute corkers, with the help of my Director, Sarah-Louise Young – another self-employed creative and invaluable co-conspirator from the start.

Similarly, the demand for clips and trailers in video form are a must these days and thanks to the skills of Rebecca Kenyon of Mote of Dust Films and Jason Thompson of Sound Ideas, I now have a lovely selection of clips from the show as well as a banging trailer, full of fun and colour: https://youtu.be/WZGMvbybxVA.

My yoga teacher Lisa Askem continues to help balance both mind and body during the most turbulent of times, and yes I do one hundred percent see her work as integral to my own. It is not a ‘luxury’ to counteract the effects of thirty years of corsets, heels, costumes that don’t fit and the lugging of suitcases on public transport (thanks Sadiq Kahn for handing all the luggage racks on buses to The Metro ‘newspaper’).

As well as my tremendous accompanist Michael Roulston (pictured below), who must be paid for each rehearsal, performance and R&D process (why would he not be?), over £1k has been spent on creating bespoke sheet music that could not be otherwise sourced, much of which will never get used in the final show. That is no reflection on the great work of transcriber Carl Greenwood, of course.

Tailor Gabriel Adams is now commissioned with making my two jackets for the show, specifically branded in our signature pinks and yellows, and prop-maker Leigh Hayward made me a beautiful banner for social media post purposes early on; not that it is currently appropriate to use at the few gigs we do have coming up.

Some of the few gigs I have been able to pop up and perform in-between lockdowns (it’s very like a game of whack-a-mole, to be honest) have been thanks to the help of venue booker Catia Ciarico of Goldtrash Productions and this very blog was optimised and published, as ever, by Mark Snell of Ideal Vantage.

That’s eleven. I could go on, but you get the point. These people are all freelancers like me, who pay taxes like me and who, in turn, give work to others. As I do.

I am the lucky recipient of a SEISS grant, based on my last three years of tax-paying, and that is a wonderful initiative to have. One cannot remain unaware of the enormous privileges we have in this country, seeing as we have the catastrophic effects of coronavirus on others. However, Rishi Sunak has left behind thousands of other self-employed people who have fallen through the cracks of his scheme. We are not all in the same boat.

So, next time you consider the arts, maybe consider us as a real, viable sector of the UK’s workforce with a significant impact on the economy, rather than just ‘a nice bonus’. Something I highly doubt that anyone the arts has ever received or expected, by the way.

‘Looking For Me Friend: The Music of Victoria Wood’ is fortunate to be able to performing one-off nights at a handful of venues across the country between May and Oct. Full details at www.lookingformefriend.com.

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Fans of the late, great comedian Victoria Wood have a lot to look forward to in October, with news of new TV compilations, the release of the long-awaited official biography and yes, my own tribute show to my idol back on stage at long last!

Biographer Jasper Rees is the lucky chap to have bagged the gig of writing the official biography of Victoria Wood, entitled ‘Let’s Do It’, which fans like myself have been itching for for literally decades. Out later this week, the book follows some (in my opinion rather lame) attempts at biographies of ‘Our Vic’ from both Neil Brandwood in 2006 (mostly quite mean-spirited, I felt) and her own brother Chris Foote-Wood shortly after her death (barely readable frankly; like someone with a large bottom had brush past a word processor). Let’s hope that ‘Let’s Do It’ succeeds where these two failed.

Now, I don’t have many details so I don’t have many details, but there are whispers of both Channel 5 airing a show celebrating Vic’s life and work in the coming months as well as real telly presenting a new compilation show based on personal notes of Victoria’s that have recently been uncovered which suggest which her own favourite sketches are. As much as I love them, it would be nice if it isn’t just the same old ‘two soups’ and ‘acorn antiques as a leisure centre and sun-bed centre’ clips AGAIN!

Perhaps most terrifying of all, though, is the news that, if 2020 hadn’t been bad enough for the nation, I am going to be allowed on-stage once again! And this time I shall be sharing the show I originally created for the cancelled Edinburgh Festival, celebrating the music of her highness Miss Wood.  Entitled ‘Looking For Me Friend: The Music of Victoria Wood’, the hour-long show features myself and pianist Michael Roulston of Fascinating Aida sharing 12 of Vic’s songs and exploring the musicality of her sketches and phrasing also.  We kick off at The Two Brewers (its gay, but we ask for the other menu) on 22nd October and are going to Cambridge, Norwich and Birmingham this side of Christmas, so do check out the webpage for more details and come along to see us.

Until then, stay warm, take care and don’t whirl a chip pan above your head; you might chip your nail varnish.

Paulus 💋

So, I think I may have mentioned that I’ve been creating a brand-new show about Victoria Wood, entitled LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND. No? I do hide my light under a bushel don’t I boys and girls?

Anyhow, what you may not be aware of is who I have been making the show with…

Photo credit: Steve Ullathorne

This is Sarah-Louise Young, pictured above with myself whilst on a photoshoot with Steve Ullathorne earlier this year.

Sarah and I have known one another since we were 13 years old, growing up in Kent. When I put on my first cabaret event at the age of 15, Sarah was there in the show too. In one of our annual charity events she even hosted the show in the style of Susie Blake’s announcer from Victoria Wood As Seen On TV, utilising Vic’s wonderful sketches for that character. Sarah has had great success creating and performing in shows about real people – ‘Julie, Madly, Deeply‘ (about Julie Andrews) has been seen in Australia, America and India to name just three, and had a West-End run at the Trafalgar Studios as well. Her current hit show ‘An Evening Without Kate Bush’ was due to return to the Edinburgh Festival for the second year running, until recent news of the festivals cancellation this year, due to Corona Virus.

Photo credit: Gabrielle Motola with thanks to Richard Carroll & Seabright Productions for artwork

So, when i decided that I would like to create a one-person show based on the life and work of a real person, who better than to ask my friend of %$%$ years who had already done it twice herself?

Since September, Sarah has help my hand every step of the way, from Research and Development to our initial Sharing in October to more RnD and changes, to the first Preview in February and helping to spread the word so I had a mammoth ten Edinburgh previews lined up (sadly, many of which already cancelled due to COVID-19). Not least of all, Sarah has proved generous and knowledgeable about the Edinburgh Festival itself, having taken shows up there countless times since the late 90s.

Photo credit: Steve Ullathorne

Sarah and I have been in touch regularly during this period of isolation, and work on the show continues – even with no sure date in sight for it being performed.

If this lockdown has taught me anything about my career as a creative it is that, aside from one’s ambition, desires, drive and ego – none of which are real anyway, and all of which need to be kept in check regularly, like a bunch of unruly children – the real joy of making something with people whom you respect and value, is the journey you go on together and the laughs, fun and adventure that it holds.

Thank you Sarah-Louise, for believing in me and agreeing to go on this journey together. LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND would be a lot less of an experience if I weren’t making it with one.

On 20th April I was due to be performing my Victoria Wood show ‘LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND’ for the second time, but COVID-19 has had other ideas. By complete coincidence, I discovered after booking my venue that this is also the fourth anniversary of the death of that same beloved entertainer, who left us in 2016 along with Alan Rickman, Prince & David Bowie, to name just three.

So I’ve come up with an idea to make this and all future 20th April’s NATIONAL TWO SOUPS day where the country celebrates the comedy genius of Victoria Wood by having soup for lunch or dinner and re-enacting Julie Walters’ waitress character in Victoria’s classic British comedy sketch, co-starring Celia Imrie and Duncan Preston.

If you’d like to get involved and mark the occasion then please join our Facebook event, hosted by the ’Looking For Me Friend’ Facebook Group.

I’ve already heard from many Vic fans of how they are going to take the opportunity to have Skype or Zoom parties with the person/s that introduced them to Victoria in the first place. The community are decided whether to have tinned soup or home-made and preparing their lockdown shopping lists accordingly.

I’m even in talks with other entertainers who have Vic-based shows and encouraging them to take part with a special video message of songs or sketches, and welcome hearing from many more – so please do spread the word!

We may not be able to be together at present, but hopefully this event will give us an opportunity to connect with old friends and loved ones, to so something silly and lighthearted and to remember the joy and laughter given to us by a National Treasure.

No tip?

Bastards.

Yesterday it was announced that the Edinburgh Festival 2020, will not go ahead due to the Corona Virus Pandemic. I was five months in to a very in-depth plan to take a brand-new show celebrating the life & work of the late, great Victoria Wood to the city this August, as part of the PBH Free Fringe, with an ambitious – but much anticipated – ten previews in London, Birmingham, Cambridge and Hastings of the show beforehand.

In the past three weeks, I have seen each of those preview opportunities and now the big 23 dates in Edinburgh  – at the Ballroom in the much-loved Voodoo Rooms; arguably the best Free Fringe venue in the city, which I lobbied HARD for – all taken away from me by COVID-19.

Like countless other performers, producers and promoters, this pandemic has robbed me of thousands of pounds worth of income as a self-employed creative, and there was a very scary week or so there when we didn’t even know if any support or relief was coming from our government; what has since been put in to place has still seen certain people fall through the cracks, eligible for nothing or very little.

I have had very dark days, asking why I would ever want to rebuild if a society treats its self-employed thus – as an afterthought, as secondary to the employed. Ignoring the enormous contribution we make to keeping the economy moving with the resources we employ, staff we enlist, venues we book etc etc.

At time of publishing, OUT OF HAND, the outdoor advertising company that holds the monopoly on advertising outdoors in Edinburgh during the festival, is retaining 10% of my full fees paid to them for my poster distribution for a festival that cannot happen, having done nothing more than process a payment. This payment was made only in response to their loud, insistent countdown to the opening day of their sales for the festival, insisting that there were only a limited amount of places available and to get in quick. Hours after their reaction to the festival being cancelled, it feels very much like a kick in the teeth to all their clients, past and future.

I do not know what the future holds for my show LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND: THE MUSIC OF VICTORIA WOOD. Until such time as people can congregate again, it will be an online community – one that is growing fast, such is the love and adoration for our friend, Victoria. In just four month our Facebook group of the same name has grown to over 1K members, all sharing quotes, favourite YouTube links, silly pics and memories of laughter. If that is what I am to do with my days until further notice, I can think of not much better, given the circumstances.

As for Edinburgh, maybe I will be there next Summer and maybe I will be touring around the country with the show, and maybe I’ll be in the poor house. Time will tell.

I’m always intrigued at what age a person discovered Victoria Wood, and where she was at in her career during that same time. I’ve come to realise that, for the most part, people can be split into four different categories;

Category 1: Victoria Wood As Seen On TV
First airing on Monday nights in January in 1985 on BBC2 at 9pm, VWASOTV was my first experience of Vic, and I enjoyed her with my sister and my Mum. It is a rare thing to find a television programme that you can watch with your children – especially when they are 8 years apart in age – and each of you stay engaged and find it funny; but with VWASOTV that is exactly what Vic achieved – at least in our house.

Category 2: An Audience With Victoria Wood
If VWASOTV did not penetrate your psyche, then there was a chance for viewers of ‘the other channel’ to join the club with this 1988 production from LWT, which Victoria recorded in front of a celebrity studio audience whilst six months pregnant with her first child (she kept this secret from all but her nearest and dearest, and her clever choice of outfit for the show helped to hide the secret). A one-off special, this saw us first meet Kimberley’s beret-wearing mate and brought the mammoth hit Freda & Barry (known to most of us as ‘Let’s Do It’) to our attention.

Category 3: dinnerladies
Victoria Wood’s sitcom set in the canteen of a busy factory in the North of England was dogged by contrast competition from fellow northern lass Caroline Aherne’s The Royle Family for both ratings and awards, when they both appeared on the BBC at the turn of the century. However, in the following 20 years, dinnerladies has proven itself to be a slow burn with the British public, not least of all due to constant replays on UK Gold, Yesterday and other channels dedicated to repeating classics. Crucially, there are many lovers of dinnerladies who are too young to remember any of her other significant output or indeed Victoria herself when she was alive.

Category 4: The Early Adopters
There is a final category of people – and I am not included amongst them – who have been championing Vic and her work for much further back; whether that be 1982’s Granada sketch show Wood & Walters, her plays Talent, Good Fun, Happy Since I Met You & Nearly A Happy Ending; her appearances on That’s Life or even her competing on New Faces in the Seventies. To these die-hard fans, I can only bow – and let them through to the front of the cue for extra custard.

However you discovered Vic – or if I and my show LOOKING FOR ME FRIEND will becoming your ‘entry level’ – I hope you enjoy her as much as my mum, sister and I have. And thank God she left us such a legacy of laughter to get us through the tough times.